


Cheerfully, Jauntily, Utterly

by aviatrix8



Series: Rival Schoolmates [2]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Action, Cheerleaders, F/F, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 00:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4500267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviatrix8/pseuds/aviatrix8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During Naturals Election week, Jakuzure finds herself fighting against the Cheerleading Club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Prepare to be pummelled, cheerfully, jauntily, and utterly one-sidedly!”  
\- Nonon Jakuzure, Kill la Kill ep 10

Nonon Jakuzure strolled down the one of streets in the high-class area of Honno Town, humming to herself idly. She had to admit, it was nice to have a week all to herself, for once… And this street was full of sweet shops, boutiques, and other stores perfectly suited towards the interests of any average teenage girl.

However, she wasn’t any average teenaged girl, and the fact that she was wearing her 3-star uniform today proved that point; it was still Naturals Election week after all, and there was a good chance that she might be ambushed at any moment…

Still, Jakuzure sort of wished she was wearing something other than her uniform for once, despite of how cute it was… She also wished she had someone else with whom to enjoy this day of shopping and relaxation with. Not one of those silly boys, of course; they’d probably complain about carrying her bags around. No, Jakuzure knew who she wanted to spend time with, and it cast a grey cloud over what would otherwise be an enjoyable day…

She frowned. Not for the first time, Jakuzure envied both Iori and Soroi being locked up with Lady Satsuki, in the tower of Honnouji Academy. What she wouldn’t give to be locked up for a week, all alone, with Lady Satsuki…

Jakuzure lost herself on her fantasies for a moment… Which is why it took her a while to realize that most of the street had emptied out, around her.

She looked up, to see her way blocked by a human pyramid of brunettes with twin ponytails; every one of them wore short skirts and halter tops with 1-stars on them.

“Oh great… Not them,” muttered Jakuzure to herself. Though she had to admit, it was her own fault for spacing out, and letting herself get surrounded.

Jakuzure then turned, to find the path behind her also blocked by a pair of tanned blondes, dressed in cheerleader outfits with single stars on their ample chests; each were armed with pom poms, clearly made out of life fibers. Both girls looked identical in every way, except that one wore her ponytail on the right, while the other wore hers on the left.

“Well, hello there, band geek,” sneered the blonde with the ponytail on the right. “We’re the Honnouji Academy Cheerleading Club Co-Captains.” She raised a pom pom in the air.

“Cheerleading Captain, Michiba, Ai!”

The other blonde raised her arm as well. “Cheerleading Vice Captain, Michiba, Mai!”

Both girls stood back-to-back, and yelled: “We’re Number One!”

Jakuzure yawned theatrically at them. “Did you matching bookends want something? Or am I supposed to actually care?”

Ai held out a hand. “Just give up your Goku uniform, Jakuzure, and we won’t kick your ass into the end of Naturals Election week!”

Jakuzure rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. You expect me to take you bimbos seriously? You two might be ranked as 2-stars because you’re co-captains, but I can clearly see that you’re still wearing 1-star uniforms… And 3-stars beat two 1-stars, every time!”

“Actually, we did do the math,” corrected Mai, then smirked. “And right now, you’re still out numbered!”

Jakuzure then found herself surrounded by the rest of the cheerleading squad, as they cartwheeled apart from their human pyramid.

Ai pointed a pom pom at Jakuzure. “Get her, girls!”

Jakuzure held out her baton defensively, as the cheerleaders began closing in on her, all the while clapping and chanting, “Be Aggressive! Be be aggressive!”

Jakuzure smirked. “Hmph. You think a bunch of airheads like you can defeat me? Think again!”

Just as the cheerleaders were about to dive at her, Jakuzure leapt up, avoiding the brunt of their attack. A few well-placed kicks and sweeps of her baton later, and the entire cheerleading squad lay unconscious on the ground, leaving Jakuzure facing the twin captains.

Jakuzure flicked some dust off her uniform. “Is that all you’ve got?” she said airily. “I’ve barely worked up a sweat, over here.”

Ai merely smirked. “That was just the warm up. Consider this the real workout!”

“We’ll just see about that!” retorted Jakuzure, as she charged at the twins.

Just as Jakuzure was about to hit Ai with her baton, it was deflected by the handles of Mai’s pom poms.

“Ah, ah, ah!” taunted Mai. “If you want to get to my sister, you’ll have to go through me, too!”

“That can be arranged!” snarled Jakuzure. She dove through Mai’s legs, catching the other girl off guard, and positioning herself right in front of Ai.

Unfortunately, Ai seemed prepared for this, and aimed both her pom poms at Jakuzure. “Double Barrelled Pom Pom attack!”

Jakuzure’s eyes widened, as the pom poms glowed with energy; she managed to roll away just in time, as the attack left a pair of circular (and suggestive) scorch marks on the ground.

“Not so tough now, are you?” mocked Ai, as Jakuzure breathed heavily.

“Maybe she should just transform…” added Mai thoughtfully, then grinned. “Oh, wait… She can’t, can she?”

“You see, we figured it out,” began Ai, as Jakuzure glared at them. “You can only transform into Symphony Regalia Grave in the presence of your bandmates; you need all their instruments in order to transform, don’t you? And you can’t transform into any of your other forms, unless you go through all of them, in order!”

“Um… Actually, I was the one who figured that out, you know,” muttered Mai, to herself.

“So we made sure to ambush you when you were alone, so your precious bandmates couldn’t help you,” continued Ai, oblivious to her sister’s remark.

“And we also made sure there wasn’t any instruments within miles of here, to keep you from transforming,” added Mai, with a smirk.

Both twins stood back-to-back, and pointed their pom poms at Jakuzure. “That makes the two of us, more than a match for you!”

Jakuzure stood up, and merely shook her head at the twins.

“Yeah, right. Like I’d ever be defeated by a pair of fashion rejects like you two.”

Ai’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

Jakuzure shrugged. “I’m just saying. That bleached blonde hair, and spray tanned look, is so passe…”

“Hey! We naturally look this way!” protested Mai.

“Oh, please. I can see both your dark roots and tan lines. News flash: the Valley girl look went out of style, ages ago.”

Mai snarled and took a step forward.

Ai held her twin back. “Don’t let her get to you, little sis. She’s just jealous… Because with a body like that, all she can attract are pedophiles.”

“Keep telling yourself that, blondie,” said Jakuzure airily. “Who’s got the most fans at the school? That would be me.” She pointed her baton to herself. “While I hear you can’t keep a boyfriend for more than a month, Ai-chan.”

Ai’s eyes narrowed. “At least I can have any boy I want at the school,” she snapped, then smiled knowingly to herself. “Rumour has it that the person that you really want doesn’t even look at you that way. But then again, you were always batting way out of your league, Jakuzure.”

Even Mai winced at this. “Low blow, sis…”

Jakuzure expression darkened.

“You’d better watch it, you blonde bimbos… ‘Cause I’m going to flatten you two so hard, those beach balls you call boobs are never going to inflate again!” she growled.

Immediately, Jakuzure charged at the twins, her face red with anger.

Meanwhile, the pair of blondes merely stood there, smirking… That is, until Jakuzure leapt up above them, wielding her baton like a weapon.

Both twins raised their pom poms towards Jakuzure. “Double Double Barrelled Pom Pom attack!” they yelled.

Jakuzure grimaced at the quartet of attacks heading towards her, at nearly point blank range. Amazingly, she managed to twist in midair, dodging three of them, but the fourth one clipped her side, knocking her out of the air, and causing her to land heavily on the ground.

Jakuzure slowly pulled herself up, to see two pairs of sneakers and baggy socks with stars on them, standing right by her.

“No way…” groaned Jakuzure. “No way a pair of 1-stars like you should be able to even hit a 3-star uniform…”

“Oh dear… I don’t think she’s heard the news,” said Mai, in falsely innocent tones.

“Not surprising that a band geek like her would be be out of the loop,” sneered Ai.

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Jakuzure.

Mai turned her back to Jakuzure, revealing a star on the back of her top, one that exactly matched the star on the front of her sister’s uniform.

“Didn’t you know? We’re 2-stars now, in both name and rank,” said Ai, with a smirk. “We have been for weeks now…”

“…And while you may be able to beat the combined power of two 1-stars,” added Mai, “I don’t think you can beat the combined power of two 2-stars… Especially when the power of those two increases exponentially when they’re together!”

“That’s right! That means we have double the power we did before!”

Mai shot her twin a look. “Um… That’s not what 'exponentially’ means, sis…”

Ai shrugged. “Like it matters. We’re still going to kick her ass!”

Both girls aimed their pom poms at Jakuzure, causing the pink-haired girl to wave her arms in front of her frantically.

“Wait! Time out! I give up, all right?”

“Hmph. You expect us to believe that?” scoffed Mai.

“I’m serious!” Jakuzure laid down her baton on the ground before her, and raised both hands, as she stood up.

The twins exchanged glances with each other.

“This is a trick, isn’t it?” asked Ai.

“No tricks… I’ll give up my uniform without a fight…” Jakuzure then smiled quietly to herself. “You just have to tell me who I’m handing it over to.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, as both twins avoided each other’s gaze.

“Oh, come now… Both of you can’t wear just one uniform. So, who’s it going to be?”

Ai then sighed. “I suppose I’ll take it.” She held her hand out towards Jakuzure. “Hand it over.”

Mai’s eyes widened. “You? Why you?”

Ai raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m Captain of the Cheerleeding Club.”

“We’re Co-Captains, remember?” snapped Mai.

“Technically, you’re just Vice Captain, Mai-chan.”

“But since you’re already Captain, don’t you think I deserve a little reward, too? I was the one who came up with the plan to defeat her, you know!”

“Now, now, little sis… I am the older sister, after all–”

“Don’t give me that crap!” Mai retorted. “You’re just older than me by a minute! It doesn’t mean you have to hold it over me for the rest of my life!”

Ai narrowed her eyes. “Listen here, dear sister… I need that uniform, so I can win back my ex-boyfriend, all right?”

Mai scowled. “Are you serious? Not that moron, again! How is wearing a 3-star uniform going to make him want to take you back?”

Ai’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Don’t you dare talk about him that way!”

“I’ll talk about him, however I want…!” Mai then trailed off, as she realized what was going on. She turned, to see Jakuzure running down the street, in the opposite direction.

“Hold it, you!” she cried out, only to be grabbed by the collar by her sister.

“If you bad-mouth him again, so help me–” began Ai, her eyes blazing.

“Hang on, sis,” protested Mai. “Jakuzure is getting away!”

“What?” She glanced in the direction her twin was staring in, and cursed. “Dammit! Well, she won’t get away from us, that easily!” Both twins then sped after the pink-haired girl.

***

Jakuzure ran down the back alleys of Honno Town, as fast as her weary legs could take her. Fortunately for her, she knew this part of town far better than the twins, who were new to the area… And Jakuzure had just came up with a plan to turn the tide in her favour.

Just then, Jakuzure finally spotted what she was looking for. Quickly, she ducked into a nearby store, with Ai and Mai hot on her heels.

As the twins ran up, they stood in front of the store, smirking.

“Hmph, what a wuss,” said Mai. “Does she think hiding in there will save her?” She then looked up at the store sign, and her eyes widened.

Ai noticed her sister’s expression. “What’s the big deal?” she said, with a shrug. “It’s just an electronics store… It’s not like she’s going to find something to fight with, in there–”

Her sentence was cut short, as the glass blew out from the storefront, causing both girls to be thrown back by the force of the shockwave.

The twins looked up from the ground, to see Symphony Regalia Grave burst out from the remains of the electronics store, while Jakuzure smirked smugly at them, from its helm.

Ai pointed a finger at her, in disbelief.

“No way…” she began uneasily, while her twin now looked visibly frightened. “How the hell were you able to transform? We made sure that there were no instruments within miles of here!”

Jakuzure waved her baton airily.

“Didn’t you know? Every good musician knows how to improvise… And what better materials could you use to build a giant sound system with, than by using a whole bunch of them?”

She then grinned wickedly. “And now that your minds are blown… Prepare to get your eardrums blown out!” Jakuzure raised her baton. “Combat Orchestration: 'Morning, Noon and Night in Vienna!’”

A booming note blared out from her giant speaker, almost impossibly loud; it was so powerful that it blew the screaming twins into the wall of the opposite building. The sustained note was then followed by 5 shorter ones, which formed a heart-shaped crater around them.

There was a pause, then two softer notes were blasted into the wall, adding insult to injury.

Then there was nothing but the faint sound of groaning from the twins, now clearly out for the count, as the building crumbled around them.

Jakuzure transformed out of Symphony Regalia, in a cluster of stars… She still wore that smug smirk on her face, strangely similar to the ones that the twins were sporting, just moments ago.

“Told you I’d flatten you dorks,” she grinned, and pointed a finger towards the twins. “Boom, bitches!”

Jakuzure then strolled casually down the street, pointedly ignoring the wreckage all around her.


	2. Twin Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For reference, this actually takes place after the first part of "What I did on My Week Off".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Elite Four comment on Jakuzure’s fight with the Cheerleading Club co-captains.

8:10 am  
One week after the start  
of the first Naturals Elections

“So you fought the Cheerleading Club Co-Captains, huh Jakuzure?” asked Sanageyama, as he walked into Honnouji Academy with the rest of the Elite Four. “Tell me, how is Ai-chan these days?”

“Last I saw of her, she was up against a wall, flattened inside a heart-shaped crater,” replied Jakuzure shortly. She couldn’t help but notice his use of the familiar honorific, at the end of Ai’s name.

Jakuzure rolled her eyes in disgust. “Don’t tell me you have a thing for that blonde bimbo, you horny monkey?”

Sanageyama looked sheepish. “Um, yeah… We used to date.”

Jakuzure shook her head. “Typical boy.”

“Hey, she was the one who asked me out, okay?” protested Sanageyama. A goofy grin spread across his face. “Besides, she had the greatest set of…”

He sensed the rest of the Elite Four hanging on his next word. “…Pom-poms?” corrected Sanageyama hastily.

“Nice recovery,” commented Inumuta.

“Um, thanks?”

“I was being sarcastic.”

Gamagori frowned. “Sanageyama, you should know better than to fraternize with one of the lower-ranked stars.”

“Yeah, Lady Satsuki did chew me out when she found out,” admitted Sanageyama. “So I had to break it off with Ai-chan.” He shrugged. “It’s ancient history, anyways. Although…” He looked thoughtful, as his voice trailed off.

Inumuta smirked knowingly. “You wanted to know what it was like to date twins, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t!” protested Sanageyama. “Besides, Mai-chan hated my guts!”

“Huh. At least one of them had some taste,” muttered Jakuzure.

“And it’s nothing to be ashamed of, wanting to date twins,” pointed out Inumuta. “It’s a standard male fantasy.”

Gamagori crossed his arms. “I’ve never fantasized about such lewd things!”

Jakuzure elbowed him. “Not even if it was that Mankanshoku chick?”

Gamagori reddened.

Jakuzure then made a face. “Actually, scratch that thought… I don’t think the world could handle having two of that chick around.”

“Indeed,” agreed Inumuta. “But we’re getting off the subject, here.”

Jakuzure glared at Inumuta. “Don’t tell me you’re interested in those bouncing bimbettes too, doggie?”

“Only as it pertains to data. They’re hardly my type.”

“Not boys, huh?” smirked Sanageyama.

Inumuta didn’t rise to the bait. “Iori has always been interested in the twins, though,” he commented. Everyone raised their eyebrows at this.

“Iori?” Sanageyama shook his head. “Huh. I would’ve never pegged him as the type…”

Inumuta sighed. “You misunderstand my meaning. The Michiba sisters are the only set of twins in all of Honnouji Academy, you see. Iori was fascinated with how they could boost the power level of their 1-star uniforms, merely by being within close proximity of each other. So a few weeks ago, he gave them 2-star uniforms, to see if it would increase their power exponentially. ”

“He did, did he?” said Jakuzure, gritting her teeth. She made a mental note to give the Sewing Club President a piece of her mind, next time she saw him. “And nobody thought to tell me about this?”

Inumuta shrugged. “I hardly thought it was relevant information.”

Jakuzure glared at him. “I thought you were the Strategy Chair!”

“I won’t deny that I didn’t foresee this situation occurring,” said Inumuta, pushing up his glasses. “But you defeated them anyways, did you not?”

“That’s not the point!” Jakuzure then turned her anger towards Sanageyama.

“And you! Did you know about those bimbos getting 2-star uniforms?”

Sanageyama shrugged. “‘Course I did. I’m the Athletic Club Chair, aren’t I?”

Jakuzure turned to glare at Gamagori, who held his hands up before him. “Oh no. You’re not dragging me into this. I knew nothing about it. It’s not even within my jurisdiction!”

“Aw, lay off him, Jakuzure,” said Sanageyama. He then grinned. “You’re just jealous 'cause the twins are hotter than you could ever be.”

Jakuzure snorted in disgust. “That just proves that you have absolutely no taste in girls, you monkey.”

Inumuta raised an eyebrow. “Oh? So what would you find attractive in another woman, Jakuzure?”

Caught off guard, Jakuzure found herself actually considering the question.

“Well… She would have to be strong. Powerful. With a commanding presence, you know? Someone I could really look up to…”

She flushed, as Jakuzure realized both Sanageyama and Inumuta were smirking at her.

“Oh, you guys can go straight to hell!” she snarled, and stomped off ahead of the rest of the Elite Four.

Gamagori shook his head, while Sanageyama grinned and returned Inumuta’s low five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually finished this chapter over a month ago, before writing the first one, just because I wanted to write something where the Elite Four was interacting with each other. ;P

**Author's Note:**

> The Cheerleading Club co-captains, Ai and Mai, are named after love and truth. I chose Michiba as their last name, because it sounds similar to “ichiban”, which means “number one” in Japanese; this is also the first cheer they introduce themselves with (yes, I love me my puns XP).
> 
> And I know Valley girl is a dated reference, but the twins' appearance are actually based on Ganguro girls, which is also a dated, but Japanese delinquent style (bleached blonde, tanned skin, baggy socks); I just used Valley girl because I wasn't sure which ref would be better known...


End file.
